16752--Political Climate Change

I'd like to propose that we change over to a Utopian political system.  Now, to me, this would be one without politicians and I know that's probably too drastic a change to pull off overnight.  I'm willing to get there gradually.  I only require that the ride be entertaining.

To begin, entirely too much money is spent on political campaigns.  The economic power of the American dollar is too weak already.  We need to use it for better things.  I know that most of the candidates are already wealthy, but they don't have to give their money up either.  Let all the campaigning happen for free.  If you want to donate your time and resources to back someone you care about and believe in, go ahead.  For the rest of it, let the dog and pony show happen on the news.

Before any public debates or interviews, though, in order to be regarded as a legitimate potential candidate, they must volunteer to have a near-death experience.  I'm not talking about "Oh, my what a fright that was."  No, I'm recommending that prior to going on-air, these clowns are wired up and CLEAR! shocked right the fu*k out.  Heart stops, line goes flat, light at the end of the tunnel...Oh, look, I saw grammy...

I heard that people who come back from these little side-trips are supposed to come back with an enlightened outlook on life.  They're supposed to be more open and honest.  So bring them back from the other side and ask them questions.  Sure, we might end up with a few more telling us about God talking to them, but we might end up with some who don't even want to be politicians anymore.  Best case, we end up with them not acting like politicians anymore.  They might even offer up some apologies (I don't think we can count on a 12-step program to get them out of politics, let alone making amends for their misdeeds).

If any of them get caught in lies or convoluted contradictions of prior statements after that, kick 'em out of the campaign.  They're done.  "You are the weakest link!"  Oooh, that could be a great debate format.  I need to file that away.

Meanwhile, think about the electroshock plan.  Near-death for a better future!  OK, maybe a few don't wake up.  Hey, they volunteered.  What'd we lose?  Politicians?  Pfft.  We knew they were dangerous when they stepped up for the job, anyway.  What were they thinking?

16367--I Don't Trust My German Shepard to Watch My Food Either

Based on reputation and writings that have come down to us over time, I've been well-trained to believe that George Washington was a decent man and a respectable president.  Thinking more freely, I've never seen him as perfect and I'm quite vocal about my certainty that one of the qualities that made him a great president was that he didn't want the job.  He did a job that he was convinced his people needed him to do and when it was time, he walked away.  Despite his other flaws, at least he wasn't a politician.

For over a hundred years now, anyone still alive and who's been paying attention has been able to see the strings of politicians manipulated by titans of banking and industry.  What does that benefit the people politicians are supposed to be serving?  Still waiting to see an upside.  That's probably because I'm biased by the fact that I don't trust a single one of them.  When I think of politicians, there's not one flattering adjective that comes to mind.  I think they're trying to wear us down to the point that we actually believe that if we just give them everything we work for and ask for nothing in return, they'll hand us a perfect society (even though they'd actually still be plotting against us).  Fortunately, I don't think we're quite there yet.

Unfortunately, we seem to be stuck in a loop of complaining about our politicians and how our government works, re-electing the same politicians or more just like them and then complaining some more when things get worse.  We're stuck in a downward spiral of corruption, but I do think there's a way out of it and it has nothing to do with amending the Constitution regarding marriage, abortion, flag-burning nor any other distracting irrelevancy that our Constitution doesn't need to be changed over.

Ben Franklin had doubts that we'd be able to maintain the republic that he and his conspirators implemented.  If they could've seen how far afield we'd go from what they started, they'd probably have turned the whole thing over to the Algonquian Roundtable.
Rather than watching corrupt representatives spend millions upon millions of dollars to get voted into a position that doesn't pay nearly as much but does afford them the opportunity to steal from us and break laws while we watch our country wither and die, I say we get rid of the politicians.  Personally, I'm tired of watching politicians fight among themselves like they're some mini-Middle East holding onto a centuries-old grudge. 

Since politicians prove without fail that they're willing to weasel out of anything except office, I propose that the ranks of our representative government be filled in the same way that jury boxes are.  Representatives will be selected from among We the People to engage in civil service.  Pay can be lowered to make sure no one enjoys it too much and terms can be shortened to keep anyone from suffering too long.  Every six months or so, we'll get a new batch of representatives in place (president included) and we can do away with all the nonsense of campaigning and lying and debating and pondering over which loser to vote for based on how screwed we think we'll be by our lack of decent choices.  We could do away with representatives who sought the position because of overambitiousness and were willing to do anything they needed to do to win it.

Sure, we'd lose a lot of the circus, but some actual focus on administration and public service could happen.  Imagine having representatives who acted in the interest of their constituencies and how quickly they could be replaced if they didn't.  Imagine functioning without arguments mired in a tangle of political party lines.  It would certainly keep us on our toes  when the mail came around and if the system gets run like jury duty, we should have the blessing that most of our representatives won't really want the job.

You got a better idea?  Help Thin the Herd!