16628--Allow Yourself Permission

Some people are more geared to believe it than others. Others live in a world of denial and suffering and fear. It isn’t just a few of you either. The number? Well...it’s quite large, staggering really. I’m talking about the number of you who have allowed yourselves to be convinced of your own basic lack of self-worth.

Whether you believe you’re not enough on a physical, spiritual, emotional or intellectual level and have accepted that the power to change the circumstances of your dissatisfaction is out of your hands, you’ve bought into the lie. If you’re only believing it because someone else has decided you’re not enough and can’t do anything about it, then you’ve not only bought it, but paid extra for it.

Like other lies, this one only has as much power as you give it. That’s your choice to make, but I’ll tell you every time you ask me that it’s a bad one. You should be channeling your energies into worthwhile pursuits. Allow yourself permission to enjoy your life. That power is yours, too. Allow yourself permission to believe that you are either sufficient as you are or that the choice and power to better yourself reside within you. Grant yourself that gift of happiness.

If you find yourself clinging to your old ways, unable to move forward to the happiness of freedom as you labor beneath the weight of accumulated lies, then you need to find a way to convince yourself that you can. You need a challenge. Not just any challenge, but something that reaches deep inside you and stirs the feelings that dwell there.

Our modern society has smoothed a lot of rough spots, spoon-feeding us so many conveniences that finding real challenges that help show us who we are has become hard for a lot of people. Some run marathons, ultramarathons or triathlons. Some climb mountains, some ski off them and some do fight clubs (but I'm not supposed to talk about that). These sorts of challenges, though, are as manufactured as a "reality" TV show.

Real life-defining challenges are harder to come by for those seeking to push envelopes. The boundaries of the frontier have been pushed further out. The number of new things one can invent dwindles and more of those inventions are being created to remove men from battlefields, mankind's classic forge for hardening men. The age of finding adventure by daring to walk where none have before has passed. Most of us will never know that experience.   It won't truly be available again until interstellar travel reaches the level of consumer accessibility that automobiles enjoy.

In our civilized time, even conquest has become a social taboo. Being an accomplished warrior was held as defining and glorious for most of man's history. War has fallen out of vogue in favor of legislatively restrained clashes in the realm of business and industry. Even with the relatively new venue for high-stakes struggle, older wisdom's remain valued. Sun Tzu still provides matchless strategic guidance. Machiavelli continues to yield insight in obtaining and retaining power through manipulation. Genghis Khan united half the known world beneath his rule and offered probably the most elegantly visceral words on bringing joy to one's life: crush your enemies.

Here's the thing: happiness comes from achieving goals.  Oh, sure, getting to relax and play and do as you like sounds great, but all that paradise becomes boring after a while if it doesn't come with some challenges.  It feels good to check things off the To-Do List, but it's much more interesting and feels like you've accomplished something when there's a bit of a struggle involved.  In your heart, you want your rewards to feel they've been earned.  Look at your favorite fiction.  However you want to classify it, as drama or action, but it gets interesting when the characters have to struggle to reach their goals.

"Crush your enemies."


Say it.  It's not politically correct, but say it out loud and tell me it doesn't feel good deep down inside. If you find yourself without classic enemies (should your challenges be in the realm of business or sports, for example), call it opposition instead. Identify whatever it is that stands between you and your goals, whatever is out to tear you down, then crush it. Give yourself permission to seize and enjoy victory and happiness. Believe you're worthy of the experience.