16752--Political Climate Change

I'd like to propose that we change over to a Utopian political system.  Now, to me, this would be one without politicians and I know that's probably too drastic a change to pull off overnight.  I'm willing to get there gradually.  I only require that the ride be entertaining.

To begin, entirely too much money is spent on political campaigns.  The economic power of the American dollar is too weak already.  We need to use it for better things.  I know that most of the candidates are already wealthy, but they don't have to give their money up either.  Let all the campaigning happen for free.  If you want to donate your time and resources to back someone you care about and believe in, go ahead.  For the rest of it, let the dog and pony show happen on the news.

Before any public debates or interviews, though, in order to be regarded as a legitimate potential candidate, they must volunteer to have a near-death experience.  I'm not talking about "Oh, my what a fright that was."  No, I'm recommending that prior to going on-air, these clowns are wired up and CLEAR! shocked right the fu*k out.  Heart stops, line goes flat, light at the end of the tunnel...Oh, look, I saw grammy...

I heard that people who come back from these little side-trips are supposed to come back with an enlightened outlook on life.  They're supposed to be more open and honest.  So bring them back from the other side and ask them questions.  Sure, we might end up with a few more telling us about God talking to them, but we might end up with some who don't even want to be politicians anymore.  Best case, we end up with them not acting like politicians anymore.  They might even offer up some apologies (I don't think we can count on a 12-step program to get them out of politics, let alone making amends for their misdeeds).

If any of them get caught in lies or convoluted contradictions of prior statements after that, kick 'em out of the campaign.  They're done.  "You are the weakest link!"  Oooh, that could be a great debate format.  I need to file that away.

Meanwhile, think about the electroshock plan.  Near-death for a better future!  OK, maybe a few don't wake up.  Hey, they volunteered.  What'd we lose?  Politicians?  Pfft.  We knew they were dangerous when they stepped up for the job, anyway.  What were they thinking?