Or How I Spent My Impromptu Summer Vacation. I've been away for a bit. To say the least, far longer than I wished to be. That part's over now and, back at my keyboard once again, I can share a little.
Growing up on copious amounts of heroic fiction, long ago added "avoid being strapped to a lab table" to my guidelines in life. Who needs that sort of headache? No one. That's who. Still, medical captivity can descend with blinding swiftness.
I didn't see it coming any more than I did the fall. Just after 11 on a Tuesday night, I meandered from my lair to take the dog out. He likes it, I prefer that he does certain things outside, and hanging out with him keeps me from acting like a hermit. Routine became less smooth upon my return to seclusion. So I took a fall. Big deal. I've fallen before. I'm not perfect, after all, though blessedly resilient. As usual, I felt undamaged as I picked myself up and laughed about my momentary clumsiness. Part of life. This time, though, I noticed something a little different: a couple of my toes were...askew. That explained the metal *clink* I'd heard. My bare foot had managed to kick one of my dumbbells as I passed from vertical to horizontal. Between being distracted and my own curious pain tolerance, I didn't realize I'd made contact.
"Well, Hell," I said, "that's not right. I probably need to get those checked out."
There was no pain so I was still mostly annoyed, but the logical part of my brain was being pretty persuasive. It even managed to talk me out of yanking and straightening the maligned digits myself. Bother. Off to the ER. So much for a night of writing punctuated by other interruptions of activity.
Thus began the latest of my rare interactions with medical practitioners. This toe mishap seemed like something that needed to be dropped in their laps. Though I resigned myself to this and the ensuing tedium, even with the emergency room visit exceeding all reasonable expectations of duration, those first twelve hours of waiting would soon be fond memories. My dip in the maddening waters of surreality was only beginning.
NEXT: Avoid Waking up with a Crowd Around You